Uh-oh, it's . . .

The Boston Market Story

Bush visits Baghdad and promises Iraqis they'll be home by Easter

BC-Bush-Iraqensack, Bjt, 8th Ld-Writethru,1,100 Bush surprises troops, copy editors, with secret Mexican Thanksgiving tradition

This story is embargoed until Barney Rubble stops threatening Emeril for trying to elope with Bam Bam.

By TERENCE "KEN" HUNT

AP Iraqensack Correspondent

    BAGHMOM, Iraqensack -- President George W. "Ken" Bush flew to Iraqensack under extraordinary secrecy and security Thursday to spend Thanksgiving with furloughed U.S. troops who were home visiting their families and to deliver a plate of "guacamole and sour cream surprise" to the hungry copy editors at the Record of Northern New Jersey Media Group.

    The unannounced visit brought wild cheers from Iraqensack Mayor Charles "Ken" Zisa and his brother, Police Chief Jack "Charles" Zisa, but was little noticed by the hungry copy editors who were busy wolfing down a repast prepared by Executive Passaic News Desk Chef Billy "Ken" Pitcher and watching Brett "Ken" Favre perform Campbell Chunky Soup commercials on TV.

    Bush, the first U.S. president to visit Iraqensack, promised that insurgents testing William "Ken" Ostenburger's theories of newspaper redesign will not be rewarded with 40 virgins if their Quark files should come unlinked.

    "We did not charge hundreds of miles into the heart of Iraqensack, pay a bitter cost of casualties, defeat a ruthless dictator, and liberate 25 million people only to feed Paul Lapidus," Bush told about a dozen hungry copy and news editors.

    The editors had been told only that they were gathered for Billy Pitcher's Thanksgiving dinner with a VIP guest in the mess hall at Baghmom International Airport. Erika Pitcher, the Assistant Executive Chef, added her own drama to the surprise. Billed as the special guest along with coalition forces commander Lt. Gen. Ricardo "Laird" Sanchez, young Ms. Pitcher opened the program by telling the copy editors it was time to read the president's Thanksgiving proclamation. She asked if there was "anybody back there more continuouly improved than us."

    Bush emerged from behind a curtain as cheering copy editors climbed on chairs and tables to yell their approval and Erika's father threatened to vote for Howard Dean if Bush ever tried to hide guacamole and sour cream underneath the bourbon pureed sweet potatoes again.

AP-ES-11-27-03 1610EST

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On the Net: Guacamole Central

Chickie says, Why did Emeril cross the superhighway?*

*Answer: To get to the other . . . uh-oh . . . BAM!