Uh-oh, it's . . .
The Boston Market Story
Stadium sponsor bails out over A-Rod steroid use
By ADITI KINKABINKAWADDAYATHINKA
Staff Tongue Twister
NEW YORK -- Free Credit Report Dotcom pulled out of its 30 year, $50 billion agreement for naming rights to the new Yankee Stadium after slugger Alex Rodalleeguez admitted to using steroids during the 2003 season. Said Free Credit Report Dotcom President John Sterling: "I should have seen it coming at me like an A Bomb from A-Rod."
Free Credit Report Dotcom also canceled Lobster Bobblehead night at the stadium, the Herald Record of Northern Woodland Hills reported on its web site.
Meanwhile, A-Rod attempted to control the damage caused when Sports Illustrated, in its most revealing issue since the 1997 swimsuit issue, disclosed that A-Rod tested positive for the banned substance Pilabillabong, which is only available in Australia.
"I was young and I was stupid," A-Rod told Katie Couric in a two-hour television special that pre-empted President Obama's speech on the $850 billion federal bailout bill. "I was a dummy. I was a knucklehead and a potfer."
"What's a potfer?" Couric asked.
"Cooking," A-Rod said.
Asked how he came to use the banned substance, Rodalleeguez said he was at a party in 2001 with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps when Phelps offered him his Pilabillabong. "I thought if it could help him win eight gold medals, maybe it could help me win a gold glove," A-Rod said.
"But Phelps wouldn't win his gold medals for another seven years," Couric pointed out.
"See, it worked," A-Rod said.
A-Rod also denied former Yankee manager Joe Torre's allegations in his book "The Yankee Panky Years" that he had a single white female-like fixation with teammate Derek Jeter. "If I had such a fixation," A-Rod told Couric, "why would I have a picture of Madonna Mattingly above my locker?"
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Chickie says, Why didn't Chesley Sullenberger
land Flight 1549 in the Hackensack River?*
*Because he didn't want to ding the Ling.