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The Boston Market Story

where every woman is a "Renata" and every man a "Ken"

Hillary endorses Bernie

By BILL OREALLYNOW

   TIMBUKTU, Mali (Special from The Timbuktu Telegraph Pole) -- Sir Edmund "Ken" Hillary III, grandson of the famed explorer, endorsed Bernie K. Sanders today, virtually guaranteering Sanders would carry the Democratic primary in Timbuktu if there were one.

   "Go ahead and laugh," Hillary III said during a news conference in the parking lot of the Timbuktu Boston Market when the Telegraph Pole's award winning headline writer and numismatologist Edwin P. Reiter blared the headline "Hillary endorses Bernie in runup to caucuses in Caucasus."

   "That's right, laugh," Hillary III repeated. They laughed at my grandfather, Sir Edmund Hillary, when he discovered the North Pole," Hillary III said.

    "Excuse me, Sir Edmund 'Ken' III," said Gabriel "Joba" Voorhis, the assistant manager of the Timbuktu Boston market, "but Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Mount Everest. Admiral Peary discovered the North Pole."

   "No wonder they laughed,"  said Hillary III as he glowered at Voorhis, adding, "You're fired."

  "Excuse me, Sir Edmund 'Ken' III," Voorhis said, "but Donald Trump has copyrighted 'You're fired.' You don't want to be accused of infringement, do you.

   "Very good point," said Hillary III. "You're terminated."

   "Excuse me, Sir Edmund 'Ken' III," Joba said, "I believe you're utilizing the intellectual property of Arnold 'Ken' Schwarzenegger."

   "Damn you," said Hillary III. "Go serve those hungry copy editors and that award winning headling writer and noted numismatologist waiting on line. And make sure they don't try to give you any expired coupons."